Divorce and Remarriage, part 2
In the previous post, I stated, "The church is full of broken homes."
Some would disagree with that.
But I would like to point out that the church is for the purpose of calling broken people to the healing power of Jesus. The church is supposed to be full of broken people in the process of healing.
If the church is not a place where people from broken homes find open arms, something is seriously wrong.
The early church, as I stated before, lived in a very pro-divorce world. Divorce was easy to obtain in every culture, from Judea to Rome. Among the Pharisees, divorce was quite common, and very easy to get on the flimsiest of reasons. And in Rome, the most pagan culture of all, divorce was often a yearly occurrence in a person's life. Ancient records bear witness to this.
The early church did not grow in numbers from children growing up in Christian homes, as most conservative churches do today. Instead, the early church took in very large numbers of converts - thousands at a time - with no church background. In these large numbers, there would have been a large percentage of divorce-and-remarriage situations.
So, the early church was made up, in large part, by formerly divorced-and-remarried people.
How did they deal with these situations? Did they ever tell these couples they were required to separate with their current spouses, and remarry their former ones?
I challenge anyone to show me such a command, in the entire New Testament.
I have not found such a passage.
In all the epistles, not one passage exists that tells the church how to enforce separation of formerly divorced-and-remarried couples.
This is extremely telling.
Is there any passage at all in the epistles that tells the church how to deal with divorced people?
Yes. There is.
1 Corinthians 7.
Take off your cultural blinders, and really let this chapter sink in.
First, Paul tells how marriage is supposed to work, verses 1-5. Marriage is for the purpose of meeting physical and emotional needs for intimacy. For this to actually work, we need to love our spouse as Christ would - giving up oneself for the other.
Then, Paul addresses 4 separate groups, giving specific instructions to each group:
First group:
1Cor 7:8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
Second group:
1Co 7:10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
Third group:
1Cor 7:12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
17 But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.
Fourth group:
1Cor 7:25 Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful.
So, Paul recognizes 4 separate categories.
Many would say the 4th category is included in the 1st.
But if that is true, then why would Paul say he has no specific command for the fourth group?
He had a very specific command for the first group!
Another very important clue concerning the first group is found in verse 11.
Notice that a woman who who had left her husband was called, "unmarried."
In the Greek, this word is "agamos".
That word is the same one translated "unmarried" in verse 8... addressing the unmarried and widows!
Therefore, that first group is NOT talking about virgins, but those who were separated or divorced!
And this really makes sense.
Virgins are very different in their needs than widows and those who are divorced.
Notice, Paul says that this group may find it impossible to contain their sexual drive.
And for that reason, God created marriage.
Why would God recognize such a need in virgins, and in widows, but not in divorced people?
It makes much more sense to group the needs of divorced persons, with the similar needs of widows!
Virgins aren't used to having a sexual outlet. Divorced and widowed people are.
And to this group, Paul says, if you can't contain, you need to marry.
That fits with verse 2.
1Cor 7:2 "... to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."
This is supported by what Paul says further:
1Cor 7:27-28 "Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned..."
Remember, in the Greek, there is no punctuation or verse separation. All you have is words, in all-capitals...so let's read it that way.
"ART THOU LOOSED FROM A WIFE SEEK NOT A WIFE BUT AND IF THOU MARRY THOU HAST NOT SINNED"
Some will contend this is only talking about "loosing" in death.
But in the Greek, it is very plain. This is not death. it's divorce.
Romans 7:2 says, "...if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband..."
The Greek word in that passage means "dissolved."
But the Greek word translated "loosed" in 1 Corinthians 7:27 is different. It means "broken."
Therefore, literally, Paul said, if you have been "broken" (not dissolved) from a wife, you have not sinned if you remarry.
This agrees with the Law God gave in Deuteronomy 24:1-2;
"...then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife."
The only reason for divorce papers, both in God's Law, and in every other culture on earth, is to allow remarriage.
Divorce papers were not about simply sending her to live separately.
God required a man who wanted to "put away" his wife, to give her legal papers allowing her to remarry!
Some will contend the Old Testament divorce law was imperfect and not God's standard for the New Testament.
But I answer with these passages:
Psalm 19:7 "The law of the LORD is perfect..."
Psalm 119:89 "For ever, O LORD, thy word is settled in heaven."
1Peter 1:25 "But the word of the Lord endureth for ever."
Romans 7:7 "What shall we say then? Is the law sin? God forbid. Nay, I had not known sin, but by the law..."
Romans 7:12 "Wherefore the law is holy, and the commandment holy, and just, and good."
As for the New Testament definition of sin:
1John 3:4 "Whosoever committeth sin transgresseth also the law: for
sin is the transgression of the law."
The New Testament is very clear: The moral law God gave in the Old Testament is still our standard of right and wrong. Otherwise, His word would have been "imperfect", it would NOT have been "settled forever in heaven," and would NOT "endure forever."
If God's moral code of the Old Testament was overturned by the New, then the law would now be "UNholy, UNjust, and NOT good." (Romans 7:12)
And if what God once said was right is now wrong, then the law would now "be sin."
We could no longer "know sin by the law." (Romans 7:7)
Going back to 1 Corinthians 7...
Notice, Paul gives very specific instructions to each of those 4 groups.
What Paul tells one group, he is not telling the other groups.
Otherwise, his addressing each group separately makes no sense.
What Paul told those married to Christians, was NOT what he told those married to non-Christians.
Verse 11 does not apply to the group addressed in verse 12.
Verse 11 only applies to couples where both partners are Christians.
Verse 12 is addressing "the rest"... which obviously were those married to non-Christians.
And those instructions are very different from what was told to Christian couples!
When both husband and wife are following Christ, there will never be a need to divorce!
Even the most difficult personality clashes can be resolved through humility and openness.
But if one turns and walks away from God, it changes the entire scenario.
Now, the Christian partner falls into a different category. The 3rd.
Because the one who gives up, throwing in the towel, now falls into another category.
It's an "unbeliever" who departs. Not a believer.
The very act of giving up is an act of unbelief.
It's agreeing with Satan: that this is something God can't do.
Or else it's simply an act of rebellion against God, which is also an act of unbelief.
And then, if that unbelieving partner actually departs... the Christian is moved again... this time into the 1st group... the "agamos" group. The unmarried.
And at that point, Paul's instructions in verse 9 applies.
We also need to keep in mind 2 things:
1. Jesus said that if a spouse is into "porneia" it is grounds for divorce. The way Christ said it (in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9) means that it is NOT adultery to remarry, if one obtains a divorce based on the immorality of the other person. Therefore, it's up to the Christian partner whether or not to pursue divorce in those situations.
In some situations, repentance is real, and behavior changes. And in such situations, God's grace is available for forgiveness and restoration.
But in other situations, there is no real repentance, and unfaithful behavior continues.
This is actually neglect and abuse.
2. Paul specifically addresses abuse later on:
1Corinthians 7:21 "Art thou called being a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather."
Was Paul taking a rabbit trail in the middle of his discussion on marriage?
No. Paul knew better than doing that.
Remember, Paul was very highly educated. He had studied dissertation and oratory.
He knew not to take confusing rabbit trails.
That's why we can interpret Scripture in light of context.
And in context, Paul was primarily speaking about marriage, throughout 1 Corinthians 7.
Even in the portions where it looks like he strayed into work situations.
Why did Paul do this?
Because in cases of neglect and abuse, it's a slavery situation. It's bondage.
And the Law gave a very clear pathway "out" from abuse and neglect.
A slave wife had the right to sue for divorce papers... which set her free to remarry.
Now, in 1 Corinthians 7, within the context of "the rest" who obviously were married to non-Christians, Paul says "if you may be made free, use it rather."
Go for freedom, if you are bound to an abuser. You may.
That's how loving God is.
It's amazing to me, how conservative churches can claim the New Testament is a "higher, better standard" taking us far above the law... but their interpretation lays a far heavier burden on women than God ever prescribed in the Old Testament!
It's a sad day when the Law is more compassionate to women than the church is.
And it's a sad day when the church cannot win the lost by the thousands, as the early church did... because their theology will not allow them to accept these broken people without forcing them through painful divorces all over again.
God never commanded it.
Some would disagree with that.
But I would like to point out that the church is for the purpose of calling broken people to the healing power of Jesus. The church is supposed to be full of broken people in the process of healing.
If the church is not a place where people from broken homes find open arms, something is seriously wrong.
The early church, as I stated before, lived in a very pro-divorce world. Divorce was easy to obtain in every culture, from Judea to Rome. Among the Pharisees, divorce was quite common, and very easy to get on the flimsiest of reasons. And in Rome, the most pagan culture of all, divorce was often a yearly occurrence in a person's life. Ancient records bear witness to this.
The early church did not grow in numbers from children growing up in Christian homes, as most conservative churches do today. Instead, the early church took in very large numbers of converts - thousands at a time - with no church background. In these large numbers, there would have been a large percentage of divorce-and-remarriage situations.
So, the early church was made up, in large part, by formerly divorced-and-remarried people.
How did they deal with these situations? Did they ever tell these couples they were required to separate with their current spouses, and remarry their former ones?
I challenge anyone to show me such a command, in the entire New Testament.
I have not found such a passage.
In all the epistles, not one passage exists that tells the church how to enforce separation of formerly divorced-and-remarried couples.
This is extremely telling.
Is there any passage at all in the epistles that tells the church how to deal with divorced people?
Yes. There is.
1 Corinthians 7.
Take off your cultural blinders, and really let this chapter sink in.
First, Paul tells how marriage is supposed to work, verses 1-5. Marriage is for the purpose of meeting physical and emotional needs for intimacy. For this to actually work, we need to love our spouse as Christ would - giving up oneself for the other.
Then, Paul addresses 4 separate groups, giving specific instructions to each group:
First group:
1Cor 7:8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
Second group:
1Co 7:10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
Third group:
1Cor 7:12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
17 But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.
Fourth group:
1Cor 7:25 Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful.
So, Paul recognizes 4 separate categories.
Many would say the 4th category is included in the 1st.
But if that is true, then why would Paul say he has no specific command for the fourth group?
He had a very specific command for the first group!
Another very important clue concerning the first group is found in verse 11.
Notice that a woman who who had left her husband was called, "unmarried."
In the Greek, this word is "agamos".
That word is the same one translated "unmarried" in verse 8... addressing the unmarried and widows!
Therefore, that first group is NOT talking about virgins, but those who were separated or divorced!
And this really makes sense.
Virgins are very different in their needs than widows and those who are divorced.
Notice, Paul says that this group may find it impossible to contain their sexual drive.
And for that reason, God created marriage.
Why would God recognize such a need in virgins, and in widows, but not in divorced people?
It makes much more sense to group the needs of divorced persons, with the similar needs of widows!
Virgins aren't used to having a sexual outlet. Divorced and widowed people are.
And to this group, Paul says, if you can't contain, you need to marry.
That fits with verse 2.
1Cor 7:2 "... to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."
This is supported by what Paul says further:
1Cor 7:27-28 "Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned..."
Remember, in the Greek, there is no punctuation or verse separation. All you have is words, in all-capitals...so let's read it that way.
"ART THOU LOOSED FROM A WIFE SEEK NOT A WIFE BUT AND IF THOU MARRY THOU HAST NOT SINNED"
Some will contend this is only talking about "loosing" in death.
But in the Greek, it is very plain. This is not death. it's divorce.
Romans 7:2 says, "...if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband..."
The Greek word in that passage means "dissolved."
But the Greek word translated "loosed" in 1 Corinthians 7:27 is different. It means "broken."
Therefore, literally, Paul said, if you have been "broken" (not dissolved) from a wife, you have not sinned if you remarry.
This agrees with the Law God gave in Deuteronomy 24:1-2;
"...then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife."
The only reason for divorce papers, both in God's Law, and in every other culture on earth, is to allow remarriage.
Divorce papers were not about simply sending her to live separately.
God required a man who wanted to "put away" his wife, to give her legal papers allowing her to remarry!
Some will contend the Old Testament divorce law was imperfect and not God's standard for the New Testament.
But I answer with these passages:
Psalm 19:7 "The law of the LORD is perfect..."
Psalm 119:89 "For ever, O LORD, thy word is settled in heaven."
1Peter 1:25 "But the word of the Lord endureth for ever."
Romans 7:7 "What shall we say then? Is the law sin? God forbid. Nay, I had not known sin, but by the law..."
Romans 7:12 "Wherefore the law is holy, and the commandment holy, and just, and good."
As for the New Testament definition of sin:
1John 3:4 "Whosoever committeth sin transgresseth also the law: for
sin is the transgression of the law."
The New Testament is very clear: The moral law God gave in the Old Testament is still our standard of right and wrong. Otherwise, His word would have been "imperfect", it would NOT have been "settled forever in heaven," and would NOT "endure forever."
If God's moral code of the Old Testament was overturned by the New, then the law would now be "UNholy, UNjust, and NOT good." (Romans 7:12)
And if what God once said was right is now wrong, then the law would now "be sin."
We could no longer "know sin by the law." (Romans 7:7)
Going back to 1 Corinthians 7...
Notice, Paul gives very specific instructions to each of those 4 groups.
What Paul tells one group, he is not telling the other groups.
Otherwise, his addressing each group separately makes no sense.
What Paul told those married to Christians, was NOT what he told those married to non-Christians.
Verse 11 does not apply to the group addressed in verse 12.
Verse 11 only applies to couples where both partners are Christians.
Verse 12 is addressing "the rest"... which obviously were those married to non-Christians.
And those instructions are very different from what was told to Christian couples!
When both husband and wife are following Christ, there will never be a need to divorce!
Even the most difficult personality clashes can be resolved through humility and openness.
But if one turns and walks away from God, it changes the entire scenario.
Now, the Christian partner falls into a different category. The 3rd.
Because the one who gives up, throwing in the towel, now falls into another category.
It's an "unbeliever" who departs. Not a believer.
The very act of giving up is an act of unbelief.
It's agreeing with Satan: that this is something God can't do.
Or else it's simply an act of rebellion against God, which is also an act of unbelief.
And then, if that unbelieving partner actually departs... the Christian is moved again... this time into the 1st group... the "agamos" group. The unmarried.
And at that point, Paul's instructions in verse 9 applies.
We also need to keep in mind 2 things:
1. Jesus said that if a spouse is into "porneia" it is grounds for divorce. The way Christ said it (in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9) means that it is NOT adultery to remarry, if one obtains a divorce based on the immorality of the other person. Therefore, it's up to the Christian partner whether or not to pursue divorce in those situations.
In some situations, repentance is real, and behavior changes. And in such situations, God's grace is available for forgiveness and restoration.
But in other situations, there is no real repentance, and unfaithful behavior continues.
This is actually neglect and abuse.
2. Paul specifically addresses abuse later on:
1Corinthians 7:21 "Art thou called being a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather."
Was Paul taking a rabbit trail in the middle of his discussion on marriage?
No. Paul knew better than doing that.
Remember, Paul was very highly educated. He had studied dissertation and oratory.
He knew not to take confusing rabbit trails.
That's why we can interpret Scripture in light of context.
And in context, Paul was primarily speaking about marriage, throughout 1 Corinthians 7.
Even in the portions where it looks like he strayed into work situations.
Why did Paul do this?
Because in cases of neglect and abuse, it's a slavery situation. It's bondage.
And the Law gave a very clear pathway "out" from abuse and neglect.
A slave wife had the right to sue for divorce papers... which set her free to remarry.
Now, in 1 Corinthians 7, within the context of "the rest" who obviously were married to non-Christians, Paul says "if you may be made free, use it rather."
Go for freedom, if you are bound to an abuser. You may.
That's how loving God is.
It's amazing to me, how conservative churches can claim the New Testament is a "higher, better standard" taking us far above the law... but their interpretation lays a far heavier burden on women than God ever prescribed in the Old Testament!
It's a sad day when the Law is more compassionate to women than the church is.
And it's a sad day when the church cannot win the lost by the thousands, as the early church did... because their theology will not allow them to accept these broken people without forcing them through painful divorces all over again.
God never commanded it.
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